While at work a few days ago, I had a
thought – a nice evening swim will be good. I had missed the nice
soothing water in the pool at Ikoyi club and all of a sudden I longed
for it. Luckily for me, my husband had just the other day gone to pay
his subscription and had graciously paid mine as well, so I was good to
go.
Then I had another thought – I should
ask my Husband along too, we can both enjoy the swim and that would
ensure I was a passenger and not the driver; sometimes one needs a break
from the damned steering wheel. So I sent him a text – Evening swim
later? He replied – “nice idea, if I’m able to get off work at a decent time today“.
I instinctively rolled my eyes as per, here we go again! As I always
say to him, he LOVES to “form” busy! I have a very good idea of his work
schedule and routine and he hardly ever gets THAT busy. Anyway, in the
spirit of choosing my battles wisely, I replied – “ok no prob, you must be swamped, another time“. After clicking “send”, I resolved to go swimming on my own....continued
On getting home however, who was already
waiting for me? Le hubby! The second I walked in, he was already
screaming from upstairs, “I’m packed and ready to go oh, please come and get your things and let’s go“.
I was pleasantly surprised, so I hurriedly ran upstairs, taking the
stairs two at a time, packed my things and jumped in the passengers seat
-Bliss! So off we went, got to the club, got changed and jumped in the
pool. We initially started off in separate pools as my husband fancies
himself to be a pro and chose to swim in the first pool because it is
slightly deeper. In any case, I went to the other pool. After a few
laps, he joined me and we swam together, chatted and just had a good old
relaxing time in the pool. After our swim, we bumped into two of his
friends and we all sat down to have a meal. Conversation was light,
funny and engaging and we managed to get through it with very minimal
digs at each other. After dinner, everyone went home. On getting home,
though late with work the next day, we even still managed to slip in
some “sexy time”. That was the good day!
When my alarm went off the next morning,
I woke up needing more sleep and therefore cranky, only to discover
that my husband had used up all the hot water (and this is something he
does fairly regularly). Needless to say, I was livid! It was already
shaping up to be a bad day and it truly ended up being one. Right after
my cold shower as I didn’t have enough time to boil water in the kettle,
I don’t need to tell y’all who I called to give a piece of my
very pissed off mind. I got back from work in the evening to find that
he’d left his key in the lock and fallen asleep (now, this he does VERY
regularly); leaving me to pound on the door for minutes until he woke
up.
It was indeed a very bad day. Now, what I
found interesting, was how somewhere in the middle of the “bad” day I
was having, I was able to accommodate thoughts of the good day we had
just the day before. These thoughts were able to put a smile on my face,
even if for just a second; long enough for me to remember my cold
shower and start frowning again. It instantly reminded me of something I
always tell my husband – “so far we are still able to smile about
something, we are good. Once there is nothing to smile about, then our
marriage is in trouble“.
Dear readers, whether you are married,
dating or seeing someone, being toasted or simply loving someone out
there, who is doing your head in; sometimes taking you for granted or
just frustrating you, try to think of those “good” days you’ve had with
the person and allow it put a smile on your face.
Now, I’m not talking about someone who
is beating you or trying to cut short your life span, or someone who you
obviously know is just taking advantage of you, no. I’m talking about
normal relationships that may take a bashing once in a while. When he is
being selfish, insensitive, ganging up with his mother or being a
big-headed chauvinist; when he hurts you, forgets your birthday or does
not try hard enough with your family, try, as hard as it may be
sometimes, to remember those better days. The thought may just soften
the blow. I sincerely hope this helps in this journey of togetherness we
choose to embark on with our other halves.
Like my friend says – ‘couple matter, e no easy’.
Like my friend says – ‘couple matter, e no easy’.
Photo Credit: standardmedia.co.ke